The rhinocerous and the bank loan

“You can’t have the bank loan” the rhinoceros was told.

He trumpeted in rage. “Why?” he bellowed.

“You are regarded as being a financial risk. When was the last time you had a good credit rating? 1987, before you borrowed money for a new home.”

“And I paid it back in full” the rhinoceros yelled, scattering people with a flick of his tail. “You don’t like rhinoceroses, that’s the problem! Well, I’ve got a nose for people like you. The rhinos of Basildon can sniff out your prejudice. We’ll sneeze out your bigotry…and…wipe of the bogeys of hate.”

In a nasal whine, the bank manager told the rhino to leave. “Who knows what might happen if I don’t get him out of here” she thought. She slapped her thighs and rang her boss.

“I have a rhino in my bank. I can’t give him a loan as he is a credit risk.”

“Do what the American banks did” her boss suggested. “Read your Economy and Risk leaflet. We’ll repackage his loan and sell it on. The City will never know.”

Outside, the rhino’s feet were being used to boot a hole in the counter. The bank was now empty aside from staff and the rhino.

The manger went up to the rhino. “Ah, Mr Saurus, there seems to have been a mistake. I can give you a loan. Just sign here. Don’t worry with the small print. £10k was it?”