A short story by me

Two badgers have landed in a hot-air balloon. I wipe my eyes. Again and again, dislodging a few bits of sleep.

Still two badgers. One walks up to me, and takes a long look, in a way I find rather disquieting.

“Still here, are you? Well, I suppose this is the countryside. We must have missed you. Seen many other humans?”

“No…” I say, rather shocked. “I’ve been busy painting my boat. My dog…

The dog appears behind me, wearing one of my waistcoats.

“Barnaby” The badger shakes his paw. “Good weather, isn’t it.”

“Great for this time of year” the dog replies. “He” indicating me “loves it. He’s always outside, playing with paint and wood.”

I run back to the house, looking for a stiff drink. The other badger follows.

“Best you come with me, old chap. It’s always a shock at first. Still, we’ve found you a nice nest down by the lake. Lots of branches…”

I grab the whisky and have a long drink. It reaches my stomach. I look again. The badger is still standing in front of me, wearing a bowler hat.

“Come on.” He takes the whisky bottle from me. I reach for my phone.

“Elderlands police station, please. It’s Robert Frost at Wisteria Lodge. Some people have arrived and have demanded entry to my house. Yes, please come at once. Goodbye.”

The badger looked at me in contempt as his partner and my dog entered the kitchen. “You’re wasting your time, you know. It’s not us they are after, it’s you.”

A siren grows louder and I look smugly at the trio. “End of the line for you. What are you going to do, take on the entire police force?”

The badger nearest the dog smiles. I don’t understand why, but I’m more focused on why the dog is removing my keys, wallet and Blackberry from my pockets. I’m too shocked to stop him, other than a token “Bad dog.”

I hear what sounds like a 4X4 park down the lane. Someone, or something is coming towards us. It doesn’t sound like human footsteps though. Sounds like hopping.

A large frog in a tiny police officer’s cap, which once belonged to a human, pokes his head round the door.

“Ribbet, ribbet, ribbet” he declares. Then he looks at me “You’d better come with me, sir. We’ve got a nice nest waiting.”